What factors help a relationship remain intact? Why do some couples have the ability to get through tough times successfully together—or have better glue than others so they stay happily connected ?
As I have worked with couples over the years, I have learned some of the important factors which bond their relationship. I will discuss 3 of these factors at this time and share more in the coming weeks.
One of the most important factors is respect. If each of the individuals in the relationship respects the other, they have a special bond. They feel confidence in the fact that their partner will have their back. They know that even in the worst of times when they are fighting, that their partner will stand up for them if an outsider gets involved.
Couples who have a healthy respect for each other know that they are going to see things differently at times. They have learned to expect these differences and accept them.
In good times, they know that they can go to their partner for help and advice and not be criticized or put down. This is because they know that the respect is there.
A second important factor is validation. We all want to feel that we are important and special to another person. As we are growing up we crave our parent’s approval and validation. But in adulthood when we are part of a long term committed relationship, it becomes more important to have our partner’s validation and approval. In an adult relationship they most important person from whom we crave praise and approval. A compliment from our significant other is extremely powerful.
A third factor is having a sense of humor. It is important to be able to laugh together about a difficult situation afterward. It is important to be able to laugh at oneself. If you can sometimes laugh about your rigid behavior or your stubbornness, it can help to diffuse a challenging situation.
Stay tuned for more factors which help create the glue which keeps couples together.