Betrayal comes in many forms. We may feel betrayed when someone disappoints us. We may feel betrayed by a friend who broke a promise. Our spouse may forget our birthday or anniversary, and we feel betrayed. Or you may have experienced a more significant betrayal, an emotional or sexual affair.
All of these instances involve a breach of trust. Someone we depended on to support us, to always have our back, has let us down. Because we trusted this person so much, the betrayal creates a deep wound.
I help you regain trust. What steps would I advise? Can the relationship ever rebound to become a place of safety, love and caring?
The arrival of “the holidays” creates a mixture of excitement and dread for most people. Many look forward to the festivities and celebrations with friends and family. For others it becomes a dreaded time of too much to do and rekindling of negative family interactions.
Many couples look forward to holiday parties and creating their own traditions. Others fear the stress they experience with their families or in-laws. They know the conflict will impact their marriage.
Research indicates that people in relationships live longer and are healthier. That’s partly why we seek someone to be in a relationship with and why we try to nurture our relationships. We like someone to do things with, to go places with and to share our experiences. We also seek the support of our significant other when we are struggling with something in our lives. But so often our relationships get stuck.
Why are relationships so complicated? If they are so good for us, why do they create so much turmoil?
THE NECESSARY THREE "C's" FOR RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS
What are the fundamental ingredients necessary for a successful relationship? Most would say love, attraction and respect. These are the basic ingredients that we anticipate when we start a new relationship. Then we begin to look at values. Does this person value family, hard work and so on? I like to remind couples about these basic foundations because they are important at all stages of their relationship. Sometimes these significant pieces become lost during the daily demands they experience. Sometimes they just forget to tell one another how nice they look, or to say they are still attracted to each other, or that they are proud of the other's accomplishment.
How is marriage like golf? They both can make us extremely frustrated. And both have many moments when we are ready to quit.
Any sport offers challenge and relief from our daily demands and stresses. When we engage in a sport, it is so absorbing that we forget about our other demands. Sports also offer us social interactions with friends and often lots of enjoyable conversation and laughs.
Why is it that some people always seem to be happy? My friend Jane is one of these people. We call her “Ms. Optimistic” because she always finds a way to make the best of things or is able to explain how to make a difficult situation work.
One day I analyzed how she processes what happens to her and noted that there is a difference in how she looks at what happens to her. If something goes wrong during her day, she sees it as a temporary setback. Rather than becoming immobilized, she seeks ways to deal with the issue. She looks for solutions.
Dr. Beth M. Cooper provides confidential, client-focused counseling and therapy services for couples, individuals and families specializing in areas that include, but are not limited to: Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling, Relationship Problems, Depression Help, Marriage Problems, and Coping with Stress.
Proudly Serving: Lakewood Ranch, Bradenton, Brandon, Sarasota, Port Charlotte, Venice, Ft. Myers, Punta Gorda, Pinellas Park, St. Petersburg and their surrounding communities.
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